Today was good. :D
Got off kinda a bad start but it turned out a-okay.

Hmm, during the lunch buffet, played with the children more than talking to cousins and other teens.
Lols.
It was fun. :D

Had a slice of tiramisu cake at Hans.~

It was delicious. :D
Hhahaha.

And thats bout it I guess. (:
Bye people and have fun!!

I will not be back until the 23rd of December!

AND

You must tell me if ya make it to next year!!! :D
God bless!
I am keeping my fingers cross that my friends and I make it to next year. (:

The weeping angels.

p.s;
what does jubilant mean?

I SAW JACK NEO!

Did I spell his name correctly?
Anyhow, YEA, I saw him!

Or rather, my family and I saw him walking down the pavement while we were in the car.

It was crazy, I tell you.
My mom was like, ' Hey hey hey! Look who is that! '
And everyone looked out the window and a silence loomed over the car of a second.

It is Jack Neo!

Than we started to talk about his directing and other stuff.
Well, you can't blame me/us.
It's the first time for me seeing an actor or director strolling down in the night.

Anyhow, today was good. :D

Saw lots of people, like Ah gua, and uncle tan and aunty agnes.
It was fun. :D

And I am dying for a bath.

I feel itchy everywhere!
But I am gonna wake up at 5.30am? So I will be fresh and awake.

Anyhow, BYE PEOPLE.

I am uber happy now because all my shows came out already, and I found lots of things to do!
Sad thing is that I cannot do it cause I am flying tomorrow.
So for now I will watch my shows finish, read whatever I can.

And sleep before 1am. :D

Toodles people!

I GOT A NEW MOUSE!

How happy am I?
Extremely happy. :D

It is orange in colour, small and cute!

AND FAST!

Hahahahha!
I know, very random.
My life nowadays is all about random shit.

But hey, it is fun. (:

Oh, and I can't believe it!
It is another three more days till I fly!
FLY!!!!

How happy am I?
Elated! Or rather, excited!

Hhahaha! And I guess that is that. :D
Bye people! (And it turns out I will be posting more often before I fly.)

A love that is forever.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

War cry's are awesome no?
Always in whatever show, so long as there is fighting, a person would scream or shout their head off.
War cries are cries of humanity?

Hahaha, I guess so.

Anyhow, we got a new rice cooker!
It is awesome! :D
Push a button and the cover will automatically move up by itself.

Hahaha, random I know.

Thanks for today. (:
It was fun~
Especially, the 'amanda's and lawyer thing.' HAHAHA.
Drama is awesome, feed me more of it.
Though sorry bout it, I took too long to think what I should buy.

Maybe, the next time, I may buy Gakuen Alice. (:

Yupp. Bye people~

You like her more than me, I guess this is what you call love that suppresses all.

This is the third time I am actually doing this.

The first time, my page went back on me.
The second time, I decided I wrote too many morbid stuff and irrelevant things.
So this is the third.

Three times the charm.

I don't wanna say anything, at all.
If I were too, I would be going back on what I have told myself to do.
But on a note, to my dearest and beloved sister.

Kindly and please, this is my plea to you, never ever mention anything about what I rant about her in reality okay?

Because this is what blog's exist for, for people like me, who have nowhere else and no other method to vent their anger.

I plea to you, kindly and please, my dearest and most beloved sister.

Never do it again alright?

Unless it is those type of stories.

Because the next time you talk about my rant, I fear what I might to do you.

My patience wears me thin.

Do you understand me clearly or do you not?

I even type in this manner so you can actually see it clearly.

I am trying to shut up and not talk back, because my dearest and most beloved mother said so.

And also, to people who may actually read this blog of shit.
There is a high chance of me going private or not posting anything at all.
Because I am too tired and fed up.

I don't even want to use the computer much, for it arouses tension and anger.

It is very vexing.
It gets on my nerves terribly.

So if you wish to comment on my life and my character, please go ahead.

Feel oblige to do so, it may even help me in the near future.
That includes you my dear sister, but remember, comment.
Type it out.

So people, before I go on a killing spree.

Any last words?

Praise the lord.

Ah, but of course.
Silly me, how could I have forgotten that important fact?

Well, things seem to be alright at the moment.
The only thing I need to do is to keep myself occupied.
And how am I to do that?

Well, first I can go and buy all the stuff I need.
Than I will come home and start packing everything entirely, listing down what needs to be done.
And also to help around the house.

I guess I can do that.

Yea, I guess I could.
Hmmm, I guess this is it than. (:

When the crow sings, that is my favourite part of the morning. (:

Ahhh, it is that feeling again.
That emotion that makes my blood boils.

Rage and Anger.

Well, I guess it can't be helped.
It is like how guys will never know how to wash their hands after doing their businesses.

And how like my great old wise father will never actually understand what I am saying.
Not a word, a single word.
He never did, and I doubt he never will.

Unless I go slowly like talking to my younger sister, and using simple words so he can understand.

Oh, not to mention my good old chap.
My older sister. (:

As per usual, she will come home, screaming her head off at me.
For things I did not do, pushing all the crap on me.
Not to mention, no matter how many times I tell her to kindly shut up.

She will just go on blabbering on and on.

And she will not stop, until my ears bleed or when I have my hands gripped tightly around her neck.
What an unpleasant thing to do too.
It appears that not only my father in the family has the incapability in understanding, or worse, hearing.

Not forgetting that I am getting nice curses directing at me, that I will have a tumour grown in my breast again and will die faster.
Well guess what?
It came true.

See people, if you wish to kill someone, but do not want to get your hands dirtied.
It is all very easy.

Just keep cursing at them, in front of them, every single day.

Before you go to sleep, and before you leave the house.
It is very effective if I must say.

Yea, I know it is for my benefit to keep munching on ice everyday.
But it is like a drug for me now, a drug for me to keep calm and cool.
You think I had not tried to kick the stupid pathetic little bad habit?

I supposed not anyways, I can hardly expect anything out of you now.

Going through my things without my permission, taking it out and leaving it as it is.
Ah wells, this is the stage of life that everybody has to pass through.
How joyous.

( And I know for hell that I am gonna be guilty later for venting my anger at her, since she just came home.
Guess she was not smart enough to understand when I told her, ' I am fucking pissed. ' Ah wells. )

And I realized, typing in this way to vent my anger instead of using profanities.
It is much easier and better.

Though I will not deny that I had thrown two nice words starting with the alphabet 'f', at my older sister and cursing and swearing at my dear friend Sheryl Shen, when I told her to let me be, for I was not in the mood to talk about how she loves my friend Joey but denies it all.

Well, over all.
Note to self, when I am pissed, please.

Please, kindly do not talk to me. (:

(Note to self, I said Please, twice. )

If it is face to face, there might be some hands on, but other than that.
I am good.

Oh yes, one little thing I might want to add before going off.

Fuck off. (:

You know, I think that when we grow older.
Passing the stage of wanting freedom, teenage rebellion, and then into the adult working world.
Things become clearer to us, but because it becomes more clear.

The more we will have uncertainties and the more we will be confused.

The more we have uncertainties, and the more we are confused.
The more we will lose our way.

' Sometimes, we need to lose our way before getting back on track again. '

And in process, we hurt the people around us.
I had posted something of the above in one post before.
And, I believe it is true.

The scenes around us changes almost rapidly.
Times passes by like the wind blowing through.
People die and babies born.

What we see now may seem different, but they are actually all the same.
It is like watching the same show over and over again, the only different thing is the people acting in it, and how they react to it.

It is scary. I still find it frightening.
Thinking about how I will be in 10 or 20 years time.
What will I be doing?

Will I be a career woman, working in a company?
Will I be a wife, married with children already?
Or will I be dead?

What will happen in the future?

I had question people around me before, some said
' Believe in the Lord, and you will not lose your way. '
the other said,
' It is not scary, this is life. '

Confusion, doubt, questions wanting to be answered and not.
But then, this is the reason why the always say.

' Treasure and cherish your life and your family to the fullest. '

For, you may never know when they will just die.

' Happy endings do not exist. '

How ironic, this blog is supposed to be all about happy endings, and yet.
What is written and posted is the complete opposite.

Ah, by then again, this is all about faith. Like they said.
Have faith in the Lord, have faith in what you do.

But for now, I will do what I can.

And when I die, I will ask Him.

.... what will I ask Him?

Oh dear. Dear me.
My nice and happy day had just crashed into something unpleasant.
But, before I rant off about the unpleasantness, I would like to thank marianne and angela for celebrating with me. (:
It was really fun.

Thank you, the both of you, very much. (:
You have my sincere and warm thanks.

Now! Onto my rant! (:

You my friend, is a failure of yourself.
You lie and you run with your tail in between your legs.
How pitiful.

But did you know?
Had you told me earlier about such an important thing, I would not need to lose my joyous mood.
Nor would you too have to get upset.

But you foolishly, ran away, denying and saying it will be fine.
Everything its alright.
But hey, let me slap it to you right in the face.

It isn't.

You think I have endless patience and kindness?
That my dear, is wishful thinking.
You should know my tantrums very well by now.

But still, you once again, foolishly ran away from the cold and harsh truth of reality.

Well, I am fine with it.
You can run all you want.
You can run from it all for all your life.
But I hope you do know, it will all come catching up to you.

Than, you will suffer greatly.

So why not suffer now and learn along the way too?
It is better this way. (:

Because this is reality.

____________________________________________________________

Ah dear me.
This was completely different than I had in mind.
But it will do. (:

Well, I do hope this little girl will reply to me soon.
God in heaven knows what might happen.

But oh no, fret nothing.
I will not go so far as to kill her or splash paint or do anything to her.
Nor would I bullying, I am not a fan of bullying.
Its pathetic.

What I might do is let her know, she will suffer through hell if she does not change.

Than maybe, one nice little slap across her face will do.
Or maybe not, I do not like doing hands on, onto people I dislike.
They are not worth it.

Though, I would pray to God.
Him, knowing all my true evil intentions, but I would still pray, to forgive her and,
For her to be safe and healthy with her family in Australia, and to be good and lead a nice life.
And to hope that she will change for the better, with the help of someone which will not be me.

To let her know, the way she is now.
She'll suffer.

But ah, how contradicting.
It is so ironic it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

For I too, will suffer greatly.

At the same timing, she would always find him seating in the same train, there alone with a book opened on his lap, at the same seat.
She would always stand in front of him in the same empty train, watching him stare at the words until he reaches his stop.
The book was always opened at the same page, with a bookmark laid between the two pages.
He would never turn the page over, and the bookmark will still be there, in between the same pages.

One day, God decided to play a trick on the both of them.

It was every other day, you would find the both of them, one standing and one seating.
They were on the same train, same timing and same carriage.
But that day was different.

At the same timing on the same station, they reached their stop.
God blew at him, hard and strong.
The book fell out of his bag that was half opened, and it fell to the feet of the girl who was on the same train at the same timing.

The girl picked up the book and shouted to the boy.
He turned, and their eyes met.
His eyes felt cold on her warm ones.

She stretched her hand out, book in her hand.
He looked at the book in her hand and smiled, mouthing words at her.
Turning around, he waved at the girl with her looking at his back, the book in her hand still.

She stood there stunned, and God blew at her, making her snap out from the trance she was in.
She looked at the book in her hand, 'The red star', was the title of the book.

' I will give it to you. '

She gripped the book tighter and put it in her bag.

Once again, in the same train, at the same timing, at the same place.
The both of them were there again.
Except this time, the girl was holding a book in her hands, and the boy was asleep.

The girl than opened the book and started to read aloud in the empty train that holds the two of them.

He snapped his eyes opened, glaring at her.
She blushed and held the book in front of her,
' I have to read aloud if not I will fall asleep. '

She willed herself to read it to the end, and when she came across things she did not understand, she would ask him.

There, she finally reached to the page that laid the bookmark.
She than questioned him, why did he stop reading.
He sighed and turned to look at the window, beyond it was the sunset.

' These eyes have even forgotten the feeling of distance. '

Silence laid heavy and thick between them.
With a cold sad smile, the boy said,
' I am fine with it. '

The same train reached the same station at the same timing.
The both of them alighted, the boy went ahead.
And the girl stayed behind crying.
She looked at her hands and thought,

' Is there no hope left?'

The next day, he boarded the same train at the same timing to find it empty.
On the same seat, he found a shimmering light, he looked closer and realized it was the bookmark.
Amidst the noise of the same train moving above the same tracks.

A girl was reading aloud.

He ran to find the voice, and he found it.
There, the girl sat, reading the last few pages of the book.
The boy in the story had finally found the star that he had promised his sister, even though he was alone, he cried for joy.

She closed the book with a quiet thud.
To look at the boy that stood in front of her, their eyes met once again.
She cried and was embraced in a hug, he than whispered in her ear.

It does not matter if I am surrounded by darkness, because you are my light.
You'd continue to shine brightly in the darkness that surrounds me, so I will never feel alone.
Giving me endless warmth and love, you'd always be with me. For,

I am blinded by your light.

Yea sure, I just love to pack.
Honestly, I do. It just depends if I am in the mood or not.
If I am not, it will be a little messy.

But it was done and over with.

With lots of sneezing and coughing and silent curses thrown here and there.
It was still done.
An entire, three-quarter, of the room was done in one entire day.
Including my older sister's.

I was in no mood in packing on that day, but somehow, amazingly, I did it!

Well, and I just did it again.
I don't get it, honestly.
We have been literally, sleeping with dusts on my dressing table for years.
So why on earth did we had to pack and clean everything up, right before we sleep?

Sure, it is nice, comfy, clean and knowingly that our room is completely clean.

But before we sleep?
Like at this hour?

I was bathed, clean from head to toe.
Hair washed and soft.
Smelling nice, feeling smoothly and clean.

And I had to get dirty, before I go to sleep.

Sigh, but whatever it is.
My room, is cleaned with not a specked of dust no more.
Not considering the little display section we have in our little corner.
Other than that, every where is cleaned.

Vacuum, wiped, rubbed, and shiny.
Stacked nicely, well done, and clear.

Though the dressing-table part is done mostly by my dearest older sister.
Whose stuff are all there.

And now, she is done.
So now, I shall vacuum the room, to suck up all the little dirt.
And after that, I will take a nice clean bath, once again.
Before laying on my nice comfy bed which will soon have springs coming out.

But wait, since my bed is on the bottom..
And all the stuff from the dressing-table were brought down to the floor to be cleaned.
Than, would not my bed be dirtied too?

If it is, I will have to wash my bed sheets, again.

Won't I...?

GAHHH. I AM SO TIRED. MY EYES ARE DROOPING MAN.
UGHHH AND I STILL THINKING HOW TO FIND A JOB!!
I AM TOO SCARED!
WAHHHH. SOMEONE DO IT WITH ME!

oh, yes, i am tired once again. x.x
sigh, i am gonna nap soon.
anybody wanna find any job? D: find with me!!!!

I NEED A COMPANION!
Marianne already found one! D: Gah.
Better start looking through the newspapers. Hopefully, I will find something good.

Hopefully...

I am extremely exhausted.
My eye lids are heavy and I keep yawning.
It is only 9pm sharp, and I am gonna go sleep now.

I will, maybe, post up what happened to make me feel so tired.

So that's all I have to say. (:
Bye all.

Good night and sweet dreams! -yawns-

I hate awkward situations like these.
It just gives me the creeps and I will have this irresistible urge to burst into laughter.
It was never nice, nor did it taste nice.

Never had it failed to leave a bad after taste in my mouth.
Lingering on my tongue like a coffee sweet.

After it all happens, I would than think.
Replaying that scene again and again.
And asking myself what went wrong, who went wrong, and why.

But than, the disturbing feeling always bugs me nonetheless.

Though, this type of awkward situations, fails terribly in comparison to that feeling.
To change or to leave it.
I wonder what will I do, when they both strike me at the same moment.

I wonder what will I do than.

I wonder..

___________________________________________________________________

And I honestly have no idea what I have just written.
I just linked one and the other and I got this!
Weird ain't it?

So many things had happened, my head feels like it is in a mess.
I am still sleeping late, taking awhile to sleep, and waking up at noon.

I want to find another job, I want to sleep well, I want to eat well and most of all.
I want to do something. Not just use the computer and watch the television.
Maybe I ought to not be lazy and start calling people. (:

Yea, I should.

'kay, bye people. (:

Ever since you had confessed, I had never been able to properly look at you in the eye.
I would always avert my eyes away from your intense gaze, always blushing and hiding behind my hair.
You would then smile softly at me, and hold my hand.

Your touch is always soft and gentle, with a hint of intense love and care.

You would then bend down agonizingly slowly, putting a lock of my hair behind my ear.
To only whisper my name with your deep voice leaving your warm breath on my ear.

Your hand will touch my face lightly, leaving behind a trail of certain warmth that will never cease.
Your thumb would brush against my lips lightly while your eyes stare intensely into mine.
Your long lashes will brush against your cheek as you slowly close your eyes.

A kiss would be planted onto my lips lightly and softly.
We would than slowly pull apart, opening our eyes to be once locked again on each other.
Our faces would be both red, and soon, we will break into a smile.
You'd hold my hand as I slowly touched my lips, I would then think.

' Ah, so this is the feeling of love. '

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, I am NOT in love. I just wanted to state this first and CLEARLY.
I was just reading a BL (HORRAY FOR BL!) story and the title for it was.

' The feeling of love. '

So I just felt like writing it! And I don't even know how does love feels like!
Even though I read so many books, I have yet to actually... Feel it?
SO, I felt extremely odd writing this. I even wrote one that sounded so damn.. Pervert-ish.
I immediately stabbed the backspace button.

So this is short but simple. :D

I wanted to write it in another way. But somehow, it just got onto this. D:
Weird no?
It took me half an hour to write this. HALF AN HOUR.

I EVEN ASK MY GRANDMOTHER!
It was truly awkward man. And her reply was.

' I loved your grandfather long time ago/last time. '
So this means, she no longer loves him? D:
WOAH man. O0O (<< that's a shocked face btw.)

I am no good with writing short love stories/... What's the other name for this?
I am only good at writing morbid and sadistic kind of stuff. :D YAY.
Ah, so to my friends whom may not read this, do comment. :D

And I only liked the last paragraph. How sad man.
BUT!
I am in the mood for writing some more love stuff! :D
Shall hunt for more titles or story line (?) to write about. :D

Bye people.(:

URGHHH. I AM SO BORED! I HAVE SO LITTLE THINGS TO DO!
I WANNA WORRRKKKKK!!!!

This sucks man, I have no mood to write anything nor do I have anything else to do.
My work is only on some days, makes me feel like finding another job. D:
And the pay is quite low too, it will take me five day to earn a hundred. D:
And my intention is to earn at least two hundred. D:
GAH.

OH, and i slept for 12 hours today!
Freaky. ==

Anyhow, I wanna do something! SOMETHING INTERESTING.
Or at least get a job! But it will be hard for me to get one!
Because I will be out of town from the 14th to 23rd!
UGHHH.

This sucks, really badly. Maybe I should call the bookshop lady and tell her to let me work on all the days I don't have training.
Hopefully there will be space. D:

Anyhow, have fun with your holidays people! :D
I am kinda looking forward to my trip, but not really since, I will not be able to collect my results in school with the actual suspension and with my friends. D:
Sucks.

BYEEE.

Man, this is kinda exhausting.
My work starts early in the morning, I have to be in school at 8.30am sharp.
And the best thing is that we have class BBQ tomorrow!

AND I HAD NO IDEA UNTIL I RECEIVED THE MESSAGE!

Amazing!
Anyhow, Paranormal activity was scary.
Long draggy and kind of... waste of time.
But still, it really was terrifying.

The most scary part was when she was dragged out of bed.
Urgh, fucking scary. D:

Anyhow, before all those images starts popping into my head again like last night, causing me to lose sleep.
I would like to comment. I LOVE GINTAMA.
And I am completely disappointed in you my dear girl, sadly, what happened to you man?
Well, I don't really care much anyways. Just have fun! (:

And, I am gonna sleep now. I do not wish to wake up cursing and swearing.
It is now 12.16 I am gonna hit the sack now.

Goodnight and sweet dreams people! :D

Amanda, you did not clean my wall.

Do you know?
All the things you say, all the things you do.
Leaves a little bit of you behind, a trace of you living.

A memory of you living, of how you lived your life, with a little bit of your smile.

So when you go, you will not die.
Because you still exist in this world, for someone holds you dear and someone remembers you.
You live in their hearts, never dying, never living.

This shows that you have existed, and will still continue to exist in their hearts.
For their memory, shows that you have lived and will never be forgotten.

So how long more, will you realize, that you are already alive?

Thank you, for letting me experience such and having more memories that will forever be treasured and cherished.
Because I believe, that no matter what memory it is, be it painful, sorrowful, grief, regret, happiness, loved and many others.
We have to treasure it and cherish it, because, it makes us what we are today. (:

It sure has been awhile since I had last post!
Anyhow, I am not really in the writing mood nor ranting mood.
Since it is that time of the month which will always and never fail to slowly and painfully suck my energy and well, blood loss!

HAHA.

Okay, change of topic.
Hmmm, well.
It seems like I have nothing to write after all!

I wanted to write something based on a 'homeless child' and had the inspiration during physics class, but I was so exhausted, I ended up falling asleep while gay chan was cracking one of his jokes in his funny voice.
Guess I will post it some other time! :)

Oh, and to my old man who does not even know that this blog actually exists.
I want you to know this, I don't care if you don't wanna learn how to know, but the most you could do, is to not drag me into it.
Some times, I am actually left speechless by your utter stupidity or the words that actually leaves your mouth.
Yea, and I so hate studying to the core I aim to go to ITE and be a bloke for the rest of my entire miserable life! (:

Pretty awesome isn't it?

Anyhow, I guess that is it!
Bye people. (: